"Hello?, Is This India?"

The last couple of days, I haven't been able to access the Internet.  I thought, well maybe I didn't pay the bill? So, I got on the phone called in and submitted a $50 payment.  The recording told me to give at least 30 minutes for the transaction to complete and the service should be connected.

One day later and I still can't get online.  Time to move on to the big gun, Tech Support.    I placed the call at 8:21 am.  I honestly, thought it would be a brief call.  Either my bill was really late and I needed to pay more or they simply forgot to reconnect the service.  I wasn't that lucky....

The gentleman had a very strong accent.  If I had to guess, I'd say it was an Indian accent? 

First he told me, that I needed to get behind the modem and get the model and make.  I just looked at my computer modem and paused.  Then I said to him, "It's not really going to be easy to get that information, Sir."

"Ma'am, I need to know the make and model to proceed to the next step.  I took a breath and  said, "Okay", I sat the phone on the table then  went to work.  You see Alma is a hoarder.  She hasn't reached the extremes yet; I can still walk around and we can entertain over 100 people comfortably.  At this stage, the modem is one of her storage areas.  I began unloading the various items.  Notebooks, CD's Book, Wow (I found candles), papers, etc.   A few minutes later, I hear a stern  "Ma'am.  I need the make and model number to proceed."  I looked at the phone, and he gets an equally irritated, "Yes, I know I'm working on it.  I told you it wouldn't be easy." 

A couple of minutes later and I have it!  Dell Dimension E5-  "NO! Ma'am I need the make and model of the modem for the internet, not your computer."  I swung around to the phone and then looked on the floor.  That modem was sitting on the floor just beside the lamp, I easily picked it up. 

I growled into the phone, "Wish I had realized that was the modem you were talking about, that would have been much easier!"

Several tasks later and my patience has started to get to me. With every configuration, it gets more ridiculous.  He would have me run a program and I would have to clarify the letters.  When I thought he said Bing, he really meant ping.  He would then spell it out in the most tongue biting tone, "NO MA'AM! P AS IN PENNSYLVANIA, I AS IN INDIA, N AS IN NANCY, G AS IN GIRL. PING, PING, PING!"  This happened  several times. "C AS IN CHARLIE, D AS IN DAVID, M AS IN MIKE!" It was then that I started giggling.  This was the most ridiculous phone call ever.

Over and hour later, I finally got it fixed.    Please never again!